I’m tired.

I’m not just physically tired, - because let’s be honest, sitting at the kitchen table applying to jobs all day and finding new recipes to bake isn’t the most aggressive physical activity – but mentally, emotionally exhausted.

I can remember a stint of time in my life when I was over-the-top optimistic, friendly, active, and, most of all, self-confident.  I knew that I was smart, resourceful, zealous, funny – that someday I was going to make an impact somewhere. That stint of time was 22 years long.

Upon graduation day, I had an internship in my future, a diploma from a distinguished university in one hand and, let’s be honest again, a bottle of champagne in the other hand. Celebrations all around! Who couldn’t revel in the love of all your friends, soaking up each other’s accomplishments and company? Today, I find myself waking up with friends scattered everywhere but here and no sort of income other than various side jobs. I’m playing with the idea of showing my boobs to people, because hey, you know what they say about desperate times.

I’m tired. Sure, my resume looks professional, laying out the past four years in size 12 Cambria font. What it doesn’t show is how much self-worth has been stripped from my being. Adorned in my sweatshirt from the Villanova bookstore, I sit here with a box of tissues to my left, frustrated that four months has gotten me back to square one every day.  Objectively, I have it pretty good as far as unemployment goes. I am a dependent, rather than having dependents. I have limited fiscal responsibilities and a mom who entertains my every grocery request. I cannot imagine that if I am lacking this much self-worth, how many times over does the single parent feel upon losing their job?

The point is: I’m better than this. Maybe rejection emails and Indeed.com has stripped me of my confidence and morale. Maybe I considered begging to be a part of my mom’s Bunco games for some social interaction. Maybe “experience” quickly became my most hated word. Maybe I feel like my time to shine is just outside my reach, or as far away as Pluto. My God, I am better than this.  

In closing, if you hear someone yelling from outside your window, it’s me. I may not be holding a radio over my head, but I’m whole-heartedly announcing, “Hey employers - I’M A MO’FUGGIN’ CATCH, DAMMIT! I SWEAR!” My track record with dating isn’t the greatest reference, but I digress - these things aren’t supposed to be more than a page, am I right? What I’m asking for here is not just employment; Lord knows that might be enough at this point, though. I’m not even asking for the most courteous gesture – just talk to me. Get to know me, because when you do you’ll soon realize that I’m a ball of fire that can work for you while definitely wearing a smile, probably humming a tune and certainly sporting a gracious heart.

How’s that for a cover letter, boss?

liviatomeckova:

adventure may hurt you but monotony will kill you

(via oncewild)

gregabbott:

Take It Easy

Robert Brault (via julie911)

(via quote-book)

cassirizarry:

Calvin and Hobbes

To paraphrase E.B. White, the perfect sentence is one from which nothing can be added or removed. Every word plays its part. In my more giddy moments I think that a simple comic strip featuring Calvin, a preternaturally bright six year-old, and Hobbes, his imaginary tiger friend, features some of the most lucid sentences committed to print. And when I sober up, I usually think exactly the same.

Bill Watterson’s Calvin and Hobbes ran between 1985 and 1995. His comic strip managed to infuse wondering (and wandering) on a cosmic scale into an ageless world of lazy Sunday afternoons, snow goons, and harassed babysitters. I’m not saying that you should take moral and philosophical guidance from the inventor of Calvinball (a game that runs on chaos theory), but you could do much worse.

On expectations

Calvin: Everybody seeks happiness! Not me, though! That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

On the unspoken truth behind the education system

Calvin: As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

On the cruel reality of commercial art

Hobbes: Van Gogh would’ve sold more than one painting if he’d put tigers in them.

On the tragedy of hipsters

Calvin: The world bores you when you’re cool.

On aspects of comedy

Calvin: Isn’t it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humour? When you think about it, it’s weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it’s funny. Don’t you think it’s odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us?

Hobbes: I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.

Calvin: (after a long pause) I can’t tell if that’s funny or really scary.

On the falling of sparrows (or providence’s lack of a timetable)

Calvin: Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.

On the gaping hole in contemporary art’s soul

Calvin: People always make the mistake of thinking art is created for them. But really, art is a private language for sophisticates to congratulate themselves on their superiority to the rest of the world. As my artist’s statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance.

On playing Frankenstein with words

Calvin: Verbing weirds language.

On realising God is more Woody Allen than Michael Bay

Calvin: They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines.

Hobbes: Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce.

Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.

On why ET is real

Calvin: Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

On looking yourself in the mirror

Hobbes: So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?

On the future

Calvin: Trick or treat!

Adult: Where’s your costume? What are you supposed to be?

Calvin: I’m yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak. Am I scary, or what?

(Source: justsaysomethingperfect)

quote-book:

Submitted by: downtown-coolville 

cassirizarry:

Drunk on Life. 

(Source: imgfave)

(Source: studdedsensitivity, via cassirizarry)

rulesforthesouthernlady:

Sometimes the only answer is to have a solo dance party. I promise it will make you feel instantly better.

Walt Whitman

(Source: quote-book)